I didn’t come to breathwork through yoga, or wellness podcasts, or anything that smelled faintly of incense.
I came to it because my shoulders were permanently somewhere near my ears, my jaw was always half-clenched, and I had that low-level hum of tired-but-wired running in the background all day. The kind where you’re not exactly anxious, but you’re never properly at rest either.
Someone once said to me, “just notice your breathing.” Which is a bit like telling someone with a broken boiler to “just notice the cold”.
But eventually, in small, slightly cynical experiments, I realised something. The breath is one of the very few switches you can actually reach. And you don’t need a mat, a candle, or a spare hour. You just need about sixty seconds and a bit of privacy from your own inner commentary.
These are the tiny breathing breaks I actually use. In the kitchen. In the car. Standing in a queue. Sitting on the edge of the bed wondering why my nervous system thinks it’s being chased by something.
No ceremony. No performance. Just small resets.
First, a small truth about breathing
You don’t breathe to “relax”.
You breathe to tell your nervous system that the emergency is over.
Slow, steady, longer exhales gently nudge your body out of alert mode and back towards rest. You’re not forcing calm. You’re creating the conditions where calm can show up.
And if your mind keeps talking, that’s fine. It usually does.
1. The Longer Exhale (the one I use most)
This is the simplest and probably the most effective.
Inhale through your nose for a count of 4.
Exhale slowly for a count of 6.
That’s it.
Do that 6 to 10 times.
If counting feels annoying, just make sure the out-breath is longer than the in-breath. Imagine you’re slowly fogging up a mirror.
I use this when:
• I’m standing in the kitchen waiting for the kettle
• I’ve just closed my laptop and my head is still buzzing
• I realise I’m holding my breath for no reason at all
It’s quiet. Nobody can see you doing it. And it works because long exhales are a direct signal of safety to the nervous system.
2. Box Breathing (when everything feels a bit much)
This one is more structured and good for when your thoughts are racing.
Inhale for 4
Hold for 4
Exhale for 4
Hold for 4
Repeat for 4 rounds.
You’re basically breathing in a square.
This gives your mind something boring and repetitive to hold onto, which is exactly what it needs when it’s trying to catastrophise the next three hours of your life.
I don’t use this all the time. But it’s good:
• Before a difficult phone call
• When I feel overstimulated and a bit brittle
• When my body is tense and my brain won’t shut up
3. The Soft Sigh (for releasing tension you didn’t notice you were holding)
Take a normal inhale through your nose.
Then exhale through your mouth like a quiet sigh. Not dramatic. Just a soft, slow release.
Do that 5 or 6 times.
You might notice your shoulders dropping. Or your jaw unclenching. Or your stomach softening a bit.
This is a good one for:
• When you’ve been sitting at a screen too long
• When your body feels braced for no obvious reason
• When you want to shift out of “held” mode
Sometimes I do one of these without even thinking, and that’s usually a sign I needed it ten minutes ago.
4. The Humming Breath (surprisingly powerful)
This one feels faintly silly, which is part of why it works.
Inhale through your nose.
On the exhale, hum gently. Like a quiet “mmm”.
Do this for 4 to 6 breaths.
The vibration stimulates the vagus nerve and has a surprisingly grounding effect. It’s especially good in the evening when your body is tired but your system is still on high alert.
I mostly do this:
• At night, getting into bed
• When my chest feels tight
• When I want to calm down without “trying” to calm down
Where these fit into real life
This isn’t a practice. It’s not a routine. It’s not something else to be good at.
These are interruptions.
Little pauses in the day where you stop letting your nervous system drive and gently take the wheel back for a moment.
You can do one round while the kettle boils.
Two breaths in the bathroom.
Five breaths before you open your email.
It counts.
Your nervous system doesn’t care about perfect conditions. It responds to small, repeated signals of safety.
If your mind won’t be quiet
That’s normal.
Breathwork isn’t about stopping thoughts. It’s about giving your body a different instruction. The mind usually follows later.
And some days it won’t. That’s fine too.
A gentle closing thought
You don’t need a full spa day to start unwinding your system.
Sometimes you just need sixty seconds of slower breathing and a small reminder that you’re not actually in danger.
Even if your inbox says otherwise.