This blog is for the doers. The ones juggling careers, kids, relationships, and about a thousand other things at once. Women like me, who need real, actionable ways to put themselves first without dropping the ball.
And listen—I don’t just talk about action. I live it.
Let me tell you a story…
I met my husband, Paul, while studying at MIT in New York City. We were at a party, and he mentioned he’d never been skiing but wanted to try. I didn’t wait. Two mornings later—8 a.m. sharp—I was at his door with a van, a few friends, road-trip snacks, and booked ski lessons at Belleayre Mountain two and a half hours away.
Paul later told me he thought I was either insane or madly in love with him. (Maybe both were true.) But that’s how I am. I can’t stand watching people dream without taking steps.
A Home Spa That Actually Works
A year ago, I was burnt out, overworked, and medicated just to cope. My therapist suggested self-care. I took it seriously and carved out a non-negotiable home spa ritual.
I even put a sign on the door: Mili’s Spa.
It wasn’t easy at first. My kids knocked. My husband yelled about the missing “twiddly pasta.” I kept breaking my own rules. But one night, at 6:15 p.m.—mid-spa-time—I was near tears. That’s when I realized: I needed hard boundaries. And I set them.
3 Ways to Make Your Home Spa Non-Negotiable:
1. Schedule It Like You Mean It
My spa time is 6 p.m. to 6:30 p.m. every weekday, no exceptions. Unless there’s an emergency or guests over, the door stays locked. My family has tried every trick to break in. They’ve learned it’s useless.
Rest doesn’t just “happen.” You have to make it happen.
2. No Phones. Period.
I used to be glued to my phone. One day, I downloaded a screen time app called Opal and saw my daily average was 5 hours. Five hours of scrolling, checking, and mindless tapping.
Disgusted, I banned my phone from spa time. No notifications. No emails. No endless scrolling.
Now? 30 minutes feels like a brain reset.
3. Clean Your Space First
Marie Kondo once said:
“When surrounded by clutter, our brains are so busy registering all the things around us that we can’t focus on what we should be doing in the moment.”
Mess makes you anxious. Before my spa time, I spend a few minutes tidying up. I follow the KonMari Method—tidying by category, not location:
- Clothes
- Books
- Papers
- Komono (miscellaneous junk)
- Sentimental clutter
You don’t have to follow Marie’s method, but order brings calm. And a calm space makes relaxation actually possible.
The Bottom Line
Your home spa doesn’t have to be fancy. But it has to be sacred.
Set the boundaries. Hide your phone. Clean your space. You deserve to reset. Because as I’m learning, you can’t perform at your best unless you rest.